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Monday, April 7, 2014

A Poignant Story of a Lost Love



I lost my sister-in-law just two weeks ago. She was a part of our life since she married our eldest sibling in the family. I felt how my brother and the children  went through after the loss. I planned to publish my eulogy on this blog but  prudence dictated it’s too late praising a dead person. So I put aside my literary skill for sometime.

When I opened my Facebook page, I saw selected pictures from the just concluded event, but I was attracted to a post by my nephew who seldom use this technology as he was busy with his ever growing business. The picture was  so dramatic and meaningful as the shades of color were in contrast yet unified in effect. Who did the shot? I asked. “I did Auntie”, was the bashful reply. Of all the many pictures posted, this has caught my attention. I started to write about the scene but I suspected there was a story behind these all. I texted the youngest child, the one  cradling a phone close to her ears in the picture and she told me that even if she was attending the graduation ceremony of her daughter, she was going through pictures of her mother in her iPad and how she was in a hurry to go home to visit her grave. My eyes were blurred with tears and I lost all words to describe her  feelings so I stopped writing and did something else.

Three days after, the eldest child, the one lighting the candles in the picture  told me the story behind the shot. She was telling it over the phone miles away and I just imagined the physical distance but the emotional closeness was evident between us. She was leaving for Canada the day after the picture was taken. My brother told her that he was going to visit th e grave of their mom. She and her sister won’t allow him to go since it was getting dark and he was prone to danger because of his unsteady steps due to a stroke. He was insistent, so the children accompanied him to the Divine Heritage cemetery.

There he bared the story of a beautiful dream  and told the children that their mother was  now in heaven.

He narrated that while he was fast asleep alone in his room he saw a bright light  and his wife  appeared in a white flowing dress as though floating on a  white foamy cloud. He saw my father who died fifteen years ago now dressed in white and heard him excitedly say, “Rachel (my  sister-in-law’s name) so, you are here!” She replied, “yes Papa”. Just then, the minister who officiated their wedding forty nine years and two months ago, the old time friend of my father  also came out in white apparel and greeted my sister-in-law. “Rachel, You are   also here!”, “Yes. Pastor!”. The three of them just walked in and out of the room without even acknowledging the presence of my brother. My brother felt dejected and out of  place as not one of those whom he loved and respected ever knew his presence and how he wanted to be a part of  that  meeting.

The pinkish light of the sunset was invaded by darkness arrogantly displaying a monochromatic effect, then there would be one color – black. The candles were lighted and the place grew bright. Darkness, ”where is your sting?”, but that was only temporary. Soon the sun would completely disappear and the candles‘ light would no longer glow. My brother was aware of the changing colors of his surroundings, surely he has not reached the realm where his wife now belonged. How could they have met? He was still with his children and siblings  who supported him in his grief.

He must have been reflecting on their love together. My brother was not so demonstrative of his love nor of his grief that  he could laugh and make funny remarks during the wake. Many said he welcomed the loss of his wife. But why did one of his children saw him cry before the coffin of their mother in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep? Was that not love? Did he not grieve over the loss of that love? Did everyone see what was in his heart, knew his feelings, fathomed his emotions?

When the Shah of Jehan built  a white marble mausoleum, Taj Mahal for the tomb of his most beloved Persian wife Mumtaz Mahal, writers described it as a monument of an eternal love. It took twelve years for thousands of artisans and craftsmen to build it. It has become one of the wonders of the world. Would love be demonstrated in a display of wealth? How about those artisans and craftsmen who sacrificed in their labor? Did they not love because they cannot offer such grandeur? Love may not always be demonstrated in our own terms.

Love is in the heart. It is not shown in material things, not interpreted by beholders. My brother has loved and others may not see it. But he longed to be in that meeting of people whom he loved.

Would I meet  them there too, when I reached  that realm?