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Sunday, April 28, 2013

When the Bond Breaks…

She was a dear friend. We have bonded for a common dream. When our paths crossed, we never thought we would be friends and our bonding would break amidst unfinished task.

I first met her when she sat in one of my English classes in college. She was taking up Commerce but she has to enroll in English to complete requirements for graduation. She was so fair with “chinita” eyes. She wore long thick hair which was “as dark as a moonless night”. When the second term was over, I didn’t see this beautiful lady with long black hair walking down the corridors of the college. I learned she transferred to another school.

A decade after, we met again. So “we belonged to the same church”, I muttered to myself. She was married with young children and was starting a lending business which later flourished. That’s where our bonding started. I invested in her business and she in my writing and dress designing skill.

Her religiosity was so encouraging. Since she drove her own car she would ferry the group to where our missionary work would take us. We also go church hopping. Her laughter was contaminating.
She would laugh with her whole body shaking over a trivia or simple tale. She was fun to be with.

She would always talk of her family and how they were supportive of her work in the credit union where she had been an officer for so long. She would talk of transparency and faithfulness in the organization. I listened to her but never was interested because I thought the work was for Commerce graduates only. Then she invited me to run during election as member of the Board. I nearly choked. What will an English major do in the organization? How I hated numbers. Of course I know how to count my hard earned money but was never interested in debit/ credit. I’d rather read a good book to make my day.

Nevertheless, they nominated me and surprisingly I won in the election. We would always attend seminars and conferences together.  I observed in our meetings how she would go over reports that were window dressed and this put her in dangerous situations. She would tell me that we still have many problems to solve inside the organization. I was her teacher in English but this time I was her attentive student.
The most unexpected happened. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and she has to undergo mastectomy. As her vice chairperson I have to take over the task. I felt I was thrown into the waters with a limited skill in swimming but our dream never died out. After her first session in chemotherapy, she lost her black hair and I have to make beautiful caps to cover her baldness.

We celebrated her 59th birthday and we awarded her with a plaque of recognition for excellent service right in her living room as she could no longer stand unaided. She told me that if God would extend her life she would render full service in the cooperative and she broke down in tears.

She underwent one radiation and three more sessions in chemo but her case worsened. She was incoherent and weak. I made regular visits taking with me singers as she loved to listen to songs.

The night she was brought to the hospital for her final treatment, I felt so listless and depressed. I was afraid I too was sick. Was it a sign that my physical bond with my friend was about to break? At midnight I received a message that my friend was in a difficult situation. We visited her in the hospital the following day and I witnessed a pitiful sight. There were tubes inserted in her nostrils and she laboriously breathed through her mouth. She must be very tired. I prayed softly that God will give her rest. We will finish her mission.

She was surrounded by her children, their spouses and her grandchildren. At 10 in the evening she finally breathed her last. So sad that someone younger than me has gone ahead. But “death is no respecter of person”.

I made the best cap that matched the color of her dress when she was laid in her coffin. Our mission was not yet finished but we still felt her commitment.

Yes, the bond breaks but the spark remains.

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