Remember the film, Love Story of Erich Segal
in the 70’s?
Hey, those of you who belong to my age
bracket :)
It is here where I got this title,
immortalized through the years. I did not understand its meaning then. It really
did not strike a note within me. Now the context was revived when a friend connected
with me through Facebook - wonderful technology!
That was in the late sixties. I was a
personal witness to the beginning of her love life. Then we parted. After 50 years
we were communicating through Facebook. She told me of the great loss of that
love. It seemed only yesterday as the cliché stated.
My friend’s name was Nelly. She was a year
my senior. While I was in college a friend introduced her to me and we created
a bond that of siblings. In our simple ways,
we used to stroll down the city streets during our free time, talking, giggling
while a man behind us would silently follow. She introduced him to me as
Vermie. She denied he was her boyfriend but one look at Vermie showed he was a subservient
lover patiently longing for Nelly’s one sweet glance. Nelly would insult him, said nasty remarks
which were made out of fun and we both laughed. She had underestimated Vermie’s
capabilities of being a husband, nevertheless they got married. I thought then
true love was to insult someone as what I observed. I was innocent about it,
since I was not seriously in love with someone at that moment.
They lived in Cebu with her husband’s
family. She was pampered by her husband, she later said. Every time a marital conflict
ensued which was often times caused by Nelly, Vermie would fall down his knees
telling his wife, “I’m sorry”. But there
were times he would comment that life was unfair because he would always be
sorry for the faults he had not made. Nelly would arrogantly reply, “Don’t
expect me to tell you I’m sorry for my faults”.
After three children they migrated to Manila. From there, Vermie was
lucky to apply for the US, a luxury of employment at that time.
He worked as a Certified Nurse assistant in
the US until he became a green card holder. This means now, that he could petition
her children to live with him but not his wife for one would be a US citizen
first before he could invite his partner. He would regularly place a call to Nelly
to talk about the problem but what he would get was scolding and nagging. That
was already rooted in his wife’s veins. Finally, came the advice of
my friend to her husband. “Follow what everybody has been doing to petition their
family. Get married to a US citizen so you could be one too”. Still a very
subservient husband, Vermie followed his wife’s advice.
Words spread in Nelly’s workplace that
the couple was divorced and that Vermie traded Nelly for another woman. Members
of her family were mad of the set up. But
Nelly stood as firm as a rock in her decision. She said this would be another
test of Vermie’s sincerity and love to her.
Luckily President Reagan announced the
Amnesty program. My friend’s husband used to be a shy, silent man but this time
he gathered all courage he could borrow and face the immigration management. Some
of his friends were afraid to come out for they were afraid the immigration
would find out they were illegal workers in the country and they would be sent
home without question. Vermie told his story honestly and when he was granted
all documents to petition his family, he felt like a “cock with its first spur!”
He couldn’t wait for his flight back
home and so could his family. On the day of his arrival in the Philippines,
Nelly and her girls were all excited to meet the long absentee man at the
airport. One by one passengers disembark and happily ran to the waiting arms of
their loved ones. Nelly scrutinized the
passengers, confident that anytime Vermie would emerge smiling. But the din of
the throng of people inside the airport subsided and no trace of Vermie
appeared. The nagging thoughts of my friend started to escalate and anytime all
“hell would break loose.” They went home helpless, dejected and hopeless.
When the door of their house opened,
who did you think they saw? Vermie who just entered that door was laughing excitedly
hugging his brood one by one. The clouds of uncertainty were lifted for this
family and finally a good life in the US was granted. Most of Vermie’s co-workers were not able to
petition their spouses but he did.
Travel to different parts of Uncle
Sam’s country made life exciting and every day was a promise of hope for a
better life. But Nelly’s treatment of her husband didn’t change; albeit her husband
was still madly in love with her.
Vermie was hooked to playing Bingo. He
did not mind the doctor’s warning that his sugar level was shooting up. He was given medicine for his maintenance
which he often took for granted. The day came when his diabetes couldn’t be controlled
and the ending was the amputation of both legs. Nelly took care of him as a
dutiful wife.
The church organized a program on
reaffirmation of marriage vows. While Nelly was dressing up Vermie with his best
suit for church the latter asked, what’s up? Nelly explained to him that there
would be a program in church. Vermie was aware of the activity when Nelly marched
beside him down the aisles with other couples while he sat on a wheel chair
pushed by his granddaughter. On their seats, the husband asked the wife if the
latter was not ashamed of him since he has no legs. The first kind words Nelly
whispered to him was,” How could I be ashamed of the man who sacrificed his
life so we could be here in the U.S.?”
The month after the reaffirmation of
their marriage vows, Vermie died. It was
only then Nelly felt the whole heavens crushed down on her. It was only then
she knew how much she loved him and regretted she had never said it. For two years now she was mourning of the
lost love. She has never told Vermie she
was sorry but deep inside her was a feeling of deep love. Why did that feeling
of love gnawed inside her after Vermie was gone?
“There
is a time in one’s life that one cannot understand physical pain when he is
still in the robust of health; rejection when he is still powerful and in the
company of friends; loneliness, when loving arms still surround him. For one
cannot see the stars when the sun is brightly shining.”
This was what Nelly felt after the loss
and even if she did not tell Vermie she was sorry, she knew deep inside her was
a love that has made their union survived until its golden years.
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